"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"
--2 Corinthians 5:17
"Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”"
--Matthew 19:26

Philippians 4:13.  Some of you know it because it's a "life verse"  Some of you know it because of Tim Tebow.  Maybe you have no idea what I'm talking about, and it looks like I'm ordering filipino food from a Chinese Take-out restaurant.

In any case it mostly goes like this: "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength..."

With every runner/athlete I've encountered who knows anything about Jesus (I refer again to Tim Tebow), I hear them refer to this as their favorite or "motivational" verse.

Sometimes, I read those verses above and Philippians 4:13 like I read the label on a cereal box.  It’s more of a mental exercise in proficiency while I keep on eating rather than taking a minute to process what I just read.  Maybe that's why it's not my race verse.  Let me explain.

This was me in 2005:

5'4" and over 200lbs (which is not healthy, for those of you who haven't gathered that).  My idea of exercise was holding the lounge chair down, and bowling with a desire to be active being minimal to nil.  Weight/image/self-worth…those have all been things that have been deep struggles in my life.  Some people can't go a day without a glass of alcohol, but I couldn't go a day actually liking myself for the longest time.  Why?  Well, we could be here all day with all the analyzation I've done over the past few years to figure that one out.  The long and the short of it is that I believed a lot of lies about myself and about those around me for a long time.

Sin is like that.  A friend put it this way:  sin is "any attitude which denies others' or our own identity or ability in Christ to be awesome."

I believed in my lack of awesomness for a long time, and I was pretty jealous of other people's awesomness for a long time too.  Even after experiencing redeeming Love and doing the hard work of going through replacing lies with Truth, I still occasionally catch myself playing comparison games.  Which leads me to the awesome part of the recent story.

From 2005 on, through various stages of growth with various guides in various aspects of my life, I found myself training for a Sprint Triathlon this year.  Crazy, I know.  This coming from the girl who 3 months ago couldn't run a mile and didn't know what pro-nating was (however you spell that, you crazy runners).  This coming from the girl who had a legitimate panic attack in the middle of the Indian River trying to swim to the end of the Eau Gallie Library dock.  This coming from the girl who had (until a few months back) never even known that those "skinny tire bikes" were one of the greatest inventions of all time.

And, so I'm training during the week of the race--finding myself tired and wondering "why in the world am I doing this?"  I'm in the pool at the gym by myself, but the good part was I was swimming laps like a champ.  Aside from my bathing suit, I had on my nose clip that goes around my head (to solve part of the problem for said panic attack in the river),  my larger-than-most goggles so I could see really well, and my snazzy swim cap (that I managed to get on like a pro that day, thank you).  I look like a real novice, but that's because I AM, so I was feeling pretty good about the situation.  Then, in comes a really proficient swimmer (who happens to be a really handsome young man).  And out of all the OPEN LANES, he gets into the lane next to mine.  Of course.  Immediately my mind goes to: "OH no!  He's going to think I'm such a noob, especially with my non-sexy nose clip.  And he's probably thinking 'what is she even doing in this pool?'" and a whole host of other self-depriciating thoughts.  However, somewhere in the mid-n00b-bash, (also, while I decide that I'm going to secretly race him--you know you've done this at the gym.  Secretly race other people...)  I started to think: "Wait a minute!  What am I doing?  Why am I entertaining these thoughts for even a second!  Who cares what he thinks?"

And these verses immediately hit me: "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death."--Romans 8:1-2

If I am measuring myself by the law of the land, or even the Law of the Lord, I will never--in my own abilities--be able to be good enough.  I will never measure up.  However, those verses immediately gave me hope.   I didn't need to add condemnation to myself when there was no condemnation to be had.  I didn't need to worry about what that guy thought, or what I thought, or even what God thought about me in that moment.  I needed to know that this old way of life that I had lived in for so long was being internally and externally changed.  I needed to remember that this triathlon--a symbol of something basically impossible for me to imagine finishing only a few months ago--was now within my grasp of completion.  I was beginning to understand that the Spirit God gave me is not a timid spirit, but one that has set me free and is full of power, love and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:8).  I am a new creation, as the verse at the top said.  You can even see the difference:

In one photo--a girl who was awesome, and had a lot of unrealized awesomeness.  And the next--a girl who is still awesome, with a zest for continuing to be secretly awesome and seeing others be awesome too.  

When do I stop believing Jesus still means what He said?  Probably at various increments of the day, depending on the day.  However, every day I need to be keenly reminded of how God is still at work in my life and the lives of the people around me.  I'm a forgetful person (even in my young age), but I want to put a stake in the ground on this promise that Love set me free, and there's much more Life (with an adventurous "capital L") in store.  

So, I leave you with this question:

Who's coming with me for the next race? :)

Grass

"Look it up."

That's one of the most used phrases among my crew of friends.  Most of us are addicted to information, and there is an endless stream of data being presented to us that we are knowingly (or unknowingly) asked to sift through in order to make decisions.  Did you know that the average US citizen consumes a little over three hours worth of advertisements (including sources such as the internet, magazines, television, radio, etc.) every day?  As each advertisement shows us what we don't have, and what we "need," is it any wonder there is an ever-sprouting seed of discontentment among us?  Is there any wonder that we have a constant fear inbreed into the most recent generations of “missing out”?  (“Missing out” on what exactly? we’re not sure).

To be clear, I’m not blaming our discontent or indecisiveness on media.  However, I am making a point that if we hold a mirror to our actions, the reflection points to a people wandering around frequently fretting, and never satisfied.  We desire freedom and autonomy, without understanding that unlimited choices and independence has actually added to our bondage rather than taking it away.

Ever watched someone throw something away because they bought the exact same thing—only newer—because they thought they’d like it better?  (Only to find they miss what they had? Buyers remorse, anyone?)  Have you ever talked to a college student in a four-year university who had no idea what to do with their life?  (Do they know they’re paying (or someone’s paying) thousands upon thousands of dollars for their indecision?*).  Have you ever talked with someone who is getting out of a covenant marriage relationship because they have fallen “out” of love with someone?  (Do they know they’re going to have to change everything about their life, and possibly put their children through years rebuilding their trust in human relationship?**) 

We all know the old proverb: “The grass is always greener on the other side.”  We live by it as if it were the way life is supposed to be.  Yet, there is something inside each of us that knows this statement is incongruent with the way we want our lives to go.   Wouldn’t we rather be able to enjoy the things we have?  Wouldn’t we rather be discontent because of unjust behavior, instead of being discontent because everything around us is wonderful, yet we can’t enjoy it?

I have multiple amazing examples of selfless love in my life--but one in particular is our community care pastor.  She looks for ways to do something I call "pre-blessing" others.  Before she enters into a meeting or care-giving situation, she brings cards of encouragement or blankets--whether she needs them or not.  Instead of looking at how others might serve her, she is constantly looking for ways to bless those she comes in contact with.  That is not to say she doesn't graciously accept gifts or grace from others, but it is to say she is more concerned with the blessing than the being blessed.  Because I get to see her in the day-to-day, I know it comes from a secure understanding of how she is already blessed in Christ that allows her to focus on blessing others.

Fear drives out love, while Love drives out fear.  Our culture would tell us to act first to prove ourselves secure and lovable, while faith tells us to rest first in the security of Love, and then act out of that Love.  When you know you are wholly accepted and loved, there is no room for fear-driven discontentment.  When you start caring for the grass that you have (and even bloom where you are planted), you don’t have time to look at any other grass.  When you are being grateful for what you have and looking for ways to demonstrate that gratitude, you don’t have time to “miss out.”  When you’re taken care of—you understand that real freedom and opportunity come within loving parameters.

The grass may be greener on the other side--but I bet it's because that guy is actually taking care of his grass.

"For, 'All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord endures forever.'"  And this is the word that was preached to you."

--1 Peter 1:24-25

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* I’m not calling anyone out without also calling out my own indecision at the end of my four-year private university education.  I’m sorry Mom, and Dad—and my current bank account.

**I’m not equipped to know what divorce is like, but I am equipped with the experience of helping multiple family members and friends pick up the pieces after a covenant relationship is broken.  There’s a reason why Jesus hated divorce—not because He hates people, but because He hates it when we selfishly hurt each other.